Write to Edward Elric
by Eat My Metal Fist
Summary: Write to the Fullmetal Alchemist and he'll repsond!
1. Overview of Letter Writing

Dear Fangirls that are bound to read this,

Hi crazies. How's it going? Okay I've been asked –cough- forced –cough- by an anonymous writer to make a profile on this crazy fan base of yours so you can send me letters or messages or whatever and I can reply. It supposedly a fangirl's dream to talk to an actual anime character…whatever the hell that is. So send me your messages and I'll be...happy…..to reply. Ask questions, just chat, whatever. Just don't take up to much of my time. I have stones to find and asses to kick.

Sincerely,

Edward Elric, The Fullmetal Alchemist

A.K.A Eat My Metal Fist

--------------------------------------------

**~~~Done simply for the fun of it. No flames, not claiming to own Edward Elric. Enjoy writing to him!**

**Sincerely, **

**Anonymous **


	2. First Set of Letters

Hmph. I got replies sooner then I thought. Might as well get it over with then.

Alright… my first review was from XxHouranxX (What kind of name is that?)

_Dear smexy Edo,_

You are the god of gods to me! I even have a shrine of you in my bedroom as well as hundreds of plushies of you that I sleep with every night!

Um...Anyways, I'm gonna ask you a few questions. How many boxers do you have? Can I have some? How can I reach you when I'm lonely? Why are you so hot? Has anyone ever told you your hair looks so cute? Did you know you look so much smexier when you're not wearing a shirt? Finally, when should we get married?

Love,  
Your soon-to-be wife.

Oh god…so you're one of _those_ kinds of fangirls…great…

They have plushies of _me?!_ Great! Now I'm worried that some weirdo is going to do voodoo or whatever on me. (Don't get any ideas…) I bet Mustang is behind this. He is soo going to get a fist in his face…

Should I ask why you want my boxers? Do you enjoy the smell of sweat and ass? Me and Al only get a chance to wash clothes every other week or so, just so you know. We smell. Really bad. So stay away. Seriously. Plus, the number of boxers I own is none of your business, thank you.

As for how you can you reach me when you're lonely, you can't. I don't own a phone or stay in one place long enough for you to send me letters. In case you were wondering, the computer I am currently using is borrowed, so don't bother emailing me either.

Why am I so hot? Genes I guess… Wait, how do you know what I look like?!

My hair has been called a lot of things, but never cute. But Winry _has _tried to put it in pig-tails before…damn her….

WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN ME WITH MY SHIRT OFF?! Are you some kind of stalker? I better not see you sneaking peeks at me while I take a shower. There will be violence.

Lastly, If you want to marry someone, marry Havoc. He's desperate. Trust me.

Okay that was…disturbing…the next review is from Ria442.

_To the shrimp: *I just had to. LOL!!*_

Congratulations! You just wasted 3 seconds of my time! If you're going to write me letters, do it right! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL I CAN RIDE ON THE BACK OF AN ANT, YOU JERK?!

-sigh- Ok. Here's the last review I got from LollipopxSweets

_Dear Mr. Elric, please disregard this letter if you deem it unnecessary._

I must say I am a big fan. I only have one question, it's been bugging me for months.

Do you carry around a book of the chemical make-up of everything so you can know what you need to use for your alchemy, or did you just memorize all that stuff? Personally, I would not be able to. Then again, we're not all geniuses.

Sorry to waste your time!  
Linda Green

Now you're my kind of fangirl! Polite, to the point, no stalker-like qualities…unlike some other fangirls… -glares at Houran and Ria- I'd be happy to answer your question, Linda.

I do actually have a notebook that I write down the chemical make-up of some materials. Usually only for the more complex molecules. The rest I memorize. Its not that hard to remember them all, but I guess if you're not an alchemist, it would be more challenging. Thanks for the question!

Alright that's all the reviews I got for now, crazies! Those you already wrote can reply to this…though I hope some of you won't…and more people –cough- fangirls –cough- can write me. That's all for now.

--Edward Elric

_Fullmetal Alchemist_


	3. Second Set of Letters

Well I definitely got a better turn-out for this one. Lot more letters; less crazy fangirls. (I'm looking at you XxHouranxX!) Let's get started then.

-----------------

_dear ed_

i have to ask this question thousands of girls would kill too. So here it is. Do you like winry? Be honest i can tell if your lieing.

yours truly  
The Rose alchemist

**W-where did you get that idea?! Sure she's been my friend since we were kids..but I never really thought of her in _that _way… Ah ha…. ;; -awkward- NEXT LETTER.**

--

_Hey Edward! *waves* i think your the second best alchemist in the world. ^^  
oh and by the way do you have a middle name?_

_-vampirelover17_

**SECOND best? Who's the first then?! We're gonna have a chat… -cracks knuckles-**

**Doesn't everyone have a middle name? Honestly people.. -__- Well, my middle name is Anthony. Edward Anthony Elric. Isn't it awesome? ;3**

--

_Dear Ed,  
Do you like the name Fullmetal or do you prefer Ed? If you weren't an alchemist what kind of job do you think you would have? And lastly I gotta ask, what do you think is your greatest accomplishment so far?  
I hope you dont mind answering more than one question, sorry if they're random.  
~Amy_

--

**I usually prefer Ed as opposed to my military name. It's not that if someone calls me Fullmetal, I'll turn around and beat them to a pulp or anything, but you get a lot of stares when someone starts yelling that down the street.**

**As for what kind of job would I have,..I don't know, good question. Al says I'd probably be a librarian, but I can't picture myself doing that. I'd probably have a job that allows me to help people like an officer or doctor…well, maybe not a doctor. I _hate_ needles. –shudder-**

**I think my greatest accomplishment so far is attaching my brother's soul to his armor. Yeah, it's cheesy, but I wouldn't be anything without Alphonse.**

_--_

_Dear Ed,  
Sure, I think you're cute, but I'm not gonna go all maniac and ask you retarded questions like SOME people.  
Okay, here are my questions: What does Auto Mail feel like? Not when you're getting it or anything, I mean like in everyday situations, like eating. And do you EVER get sick? It seems like you never do._

_-sugarbowl99_

--

**THANK YOU. Not that I had to many stupid questions, but still. Thank you.**

**It doesn't feel like anything, to be honest. I can control it and stuff, but I can't _feel_ with it. I know when I put my foot down or touch something, but I can't feel the texture of the object. And its pretty heavy, so I work slower with that hand. My leg is built so its lighter though, that's one thing Winry comes in handy with.**

**Yes I do get sick! I don't have this super powerful immune system or anything. (Trust me.) Just last week I caught a nasty cold by being caught in the rain. It wasn't pleasant…I was sneezing and coughing all over the place.**

--

_Dear Edward,  
How are you? My Brother and I(we're twins) have some questions for you. some are random so feel free to ignore them if you want to. :) I also have a little riddle for you.  
is your fav song or artist/group?  
do you hate Roy so much?  
you hate or just note like freaky stalker fangirls?(we do they scare us)  
Riddle: What fills up a room but takes up no space (hint:there are 3 possible answers)  
That is all and I just want to say that i feel you're pain about short jokes, but if it makes you feel better you are taller than me(raiden not my brother he's taller than me)  
Ja Ne,  
Raiden & Beyond(his nickname)_

_--_

**I don't usually listen to music that often…I have way more important things to do then sit around at an opera or something… but the one singer Vic Mignogna is pretty good. He sounds familiar to someone I know too…I just can't think of who that is… -ponders-**

**I hate Roy simply because he's an old bastard. I've heard to much of his short jokes to respect him in any way. End of story.**

**Freaky stalker fangirls are pretty creepy huh? I don't know if I _hate _then, but they do get a little disturbing when they start ranting how cute my butt is.. So yeah, I guess I dislike them.**

**The answer to your riddle is: air. Ha.**

--

_Dear Edward, Yes, you are a cutie, that is a given. I won't call you small, coz yer taller than me. Heh-heh. I just want to say that I enjoy your anime and all that. Oh, and one last thing: How does your brother feel about older women? After being in that armor so long I imagine he has some catching up to do and I'd be more than happy to instruct him.  
Have a jolly year  
SewingDreams_

_--_

**No one still has bothered to tell what the hell an anime is…but umm…thanks? I'm guessing it's a good thing since I get so much feedback about it…**

**Technically Al is still 13, so I don't think he'll be needing help with women anytime soon. His armor tends to scare off girls anyway. (Don't tell him I said that. It'll hurt his feelings -__-;;) Thanks for offering help anyway.**

--

_hey ,_

why do u use that same outfit all the time? does it ever get washed? then what do u use?

from,  
musicvamp55

_--_

**Because it's easier to wear one outfit then change all the time when you're traveling constantly. In my opinion anyway. And YES. It does get washed. Do I look like some sort of smelly hobo?! I believe in personal hygiene, thank you very much. When I'm washing my clothes I wear boxers and a t-shirt or something…no, forget I said that crazy fangirls. I don't wash my clothes and I stink. Do you still want to glomp a smelly hobo like me?**

--

_To Ed:  
WHOOPS!! The last fanmai- er...- mail was sent by accident. I ment to write more, but the computer has a mind of it's own and sent it in...I tried deleting it and stopping it...BUT IT WOULDN'T LET ME! T^T_

I feel horrible now...sorry for wasting your time the last time. This was the orginal question for the last one since I didn't have a question THIS time... how many pairs of clothes do you have??! You always seem to rip them up somehow and then you have a new pair ready. do you buy them or transmute them back? but wait...your arm may be gone then you have to buy...but that spends your well earned money. why not change your style? *Idea of tuxedo pops up*

From the computer geek extrodinare: Ria442.

(I CAN'T SPELL DAMN IT!)

_--_

**It's ok I guess…I was in a bad mood yesterday… I know how frustrating computers can get. It took me forever to figure out how to post these damn chapters…Al had to guide me through it. I guess being a robot in all, its natural that he knows how to use computers. ;3 (Don't tell him I said that either.)**

**I think I just answered a question like this. But disregarding the last reply, I have multiple pairs of pants and jackets that I carry around. The cloak I usually have tailored because I'm no good with sewing…eh heh… but if I can transmute my clothes, I will. I never really noticed how much I ripped them before. Hmm… Well, thanks for the suggestion, but I like my style the way it is. Comfortable and easy to fix.**

----------------

This one is way longer then the last, sorry if that's a problem for any of you. (But I really don't care.) I hope I answered your questions at least halfway decently if they deserved a good answer…feel free to write me again I guess..

Until next time,

-Edward Elric

_Fullmetal Alchemist_


	4. Third Set of Letters

**I'm trying to keep this updated frequently so the reviews don't pile up…I get a headache just thinking about it… -sigh-**

--

_Dear Ed~!  
I can't help but feel you're freaked out by me. It's just my imagination though, I'm sure.  
I noticed you never actually answered my question about when our marriage should be! It was the most important one! You just said something about Havoc...It wasn't about you at all, so I don't remember.  
Perhaps we should do it next week? I'll pay for everything!_

With lots of love,  
Your #1 stalk- um...#1 fan. (XxHouranxX)

PS: Can you send Al out somewhere during nights? He's always there when you're sleeping, and he's always awake! I can't sneak into your bed with you 'cause of him!

_--_

**Oh god...not you again... Oo; **

**And for your information, you do freak me out. A lot. I kept looking over my shoulder the other day, expecting some stalker fangirl to tackle me and ask me when our wedding is. Al thought I was going insane. WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED! I'm freaking 16! I'm not even old enough to be legally married!**

**And just because you pointed that out, Al is never leaving my side. NEVER. **

--

_Dear Fullmetal,_

_May I say it's an honor speaking with you! Now onto my question. When you_

_first decided to do the human transmutation, did you ever have a second_

_thought about doing it? Please reply soon! Also, tell Alphonse I say 'hello'!_

_-Mimi Suzuki aka The Music Alchemist_

_--_

**Honor? Why would you be honored to talk to me? I am pretty awesome,…but still.**

**Getting to the point, I did question myself before we did the transmutation. But I was so submerged into the thought of seeing my mom again, I pushed the doubts away. Turns out Al was right in the end. **

**And Al says "Hi,". **

--

_Dear Edo,_

So tell me, how do you REALLY feel about Hohenheim? Personally, I sence a lot of "daddy-issues" behind some of your actions. Do you think that if he didn't leave you would have lived a normal life?

~tl;dr : You really love Hoho-papa don't cha? :3

Itemri

_--_

**I HATE him. With a passion. He freaking left me, Al, and my mom and she ended up dying because of that. You would hate him too if you met him. **

**I might've had a more normal life I guess…mom wouldn't have died so me and Alphonse would still have our bodies. So yeah, I guess.**

**And I don't love him dammit!**

--

_HELLO AGAIN!! WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY AIR!?! the actuall answer was light but air works to. ONWARD TO QUESTION! sorry tis hyper. :3  
ok my friends say i have something called EEsyndrom(edward elric syndrom) it means that i hurt anyone that calls me short(which is everyday) do you think that it qualifies as a real disorder? Except i have learned that everyone with EEsyndrom has an Al to. (i have one, his name is allen XD) strange.  
That is all me amigo ADIOS,  
Raiden ^-^_

_--_

**Because air can fill a room and doesn't take up space. Duh. But yeah, light works. **

**It is not a syndrome because I AM NOT SHORT! Just because I'm pissed that someone called me a runt, doesn't mean I have some bizarre disorder! If anyone has a disorder, it's Envy. **

**And yeah, that is pretty strange… I'll have to tell Al about that. **

--

_Dear Edward,_  
_  
I have to say you are one of my favorite anime charactes of all time. I even cosplayed as you at the last AWA._

You also happen to be part of my favorite yaoi pairing (RoyxEd XD). I was wondering if you ever read yaoi fanfics. What are your thoughts about the pairings you find yourself in, like EdxAl or EnvyxEd?

Well, Happy New Year!  
Master E.

--

**Again with the anime crap…when is someone going to explain this to me?!**

**Cosplay? You mean, **_**dress up as me?!**_** That's…a little creepy. I bet Mustang is behind this too. First the dolls, and now fans are stealing my style. He is **_**so **_**going to get it now. **

**Have you read my profile?! I do NOT like yaoi! I read some because I was curious, and I practically puked all over the keyboard! (I had a cold that day, but that isn't the point.) Let me get this through to you, I HATE Roy Mustang. I HATE Envy. And that's that. I have no secret pining for them that I hide under all the spite. It is pure spite, and nothing more. **

**And don't get me started on Elricest. Would you like to kiss and/or have buttsex with your brother?! I hope not! Its just…gross. –shudder-**

--

**Was it Pick on Edward Day or something?! A lot of them started out fine, and then…BOOM! **

**-sigh- I'm going to take a nap. I have a headache. **

**You know the drill.**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	5. Fourth Set of Letters

**Only five this time, so I don't have a headache YET. It depends on what's in the letters, so here goes. **

**----------------------**

_Dear ,  
Okay, frist off, an anime is a show, second Cares about (Not that he wants you know know ^-^) Thrid, I'm not a crazy fan girl I just think your kinda cute, also I think you should take some anger mangment. Okay moving on, I think your hight is what makes you cute, (yes I like short people ^_^") But I want to ask you something, After you get 's body back(Alphonse) and yours, what will you do with the pholispher stone? And Will you Quite being a State alchemist? Also Do [i]YOU[/i] like getting all kinds of letters from people? Also Tell Mr. Mustang I say Hi, and that He as a new fan girl xD - Ten-Ten-1994_

**--**

**A show? You mean, a bunch of people are sitting at home WATCHING ME?! No wonder why the fangirls are rabid! They can **_**see**_** me 24/7!**

**Yes, the constant "Sorry I couldn't see you over my paperwork! HA HA HA!" is proof that Colonel Bastard cares about me. I'm sure. **

**Anger management?! Is that supposed to be a joke?! I don't have a problem with my temper! AND I AM NOT SHORT DAMMIT!!! **

**I don't know what we'll do with the Philosopher's Stone once we're finished with it…probably destroy it. No one should be able to use that kind of power. And then I WILL quit being a state alchemist. I'm already sick of being the state's dog. I don't know how other people stand it. **

**I guess its ok. Unless its one of **_**these**_** kinds of letters that makes me want to punch something. (I am not small!!) But if they are written halfway decent and don't ask me stupid questions ("When are we going to get married?!") then I'm fine with them.**

**And I am NOT giving Mustang the satisfaction that he has a fangirl. If you want him to know so badly, tell him yourself!**

**--**

_Hello there:  
S-Sorry for this one...M-My friend was crazy over you and she won't ask this herself. S-S-She...GAH!! I'M NOT EVEN ASKING THIS **! I'LL ASK AN EFEING DIFFERENT QUESTION!_

Ok...why do you hate Roy Mustang so much?? He was there for you in...in...when...ugh **... WHEN YOU NEEDED THAT ONE INFORMATION THING THAT I FORGOT ABOUT!! Marco ring a bell? Guess what! WE'RE SHORT BUDDIES!! actually...you're taller than me...just wanted give you something to celebrate about...and I'm your age to. T^T being short sucks, doesn't it.

~Ria422~

PS: sorry about the headaches and the part where you have to answer these reviews and stuff. I feel your pain. *Glares at evil brother* They are annoying sometimes!

**--**

**I was tempted to ask what your friend wanted to ask for about 2 seconds, but I realized it would be better if I didn't. I'm a little scared to know. O_o;**

**  
I hate Mustang because he doesn't take me seriously. Sure he gives me information on to where to find the stone, but then it's always "Still haven't found the stone, Fullmetal? Money doesn't grow on trees!" plus endless short jokes. They never end. I don't think he realizes how hard me and Al work to find the freaking thing. And that's why I hate him. **

**I AM NOT SHORT. EVERYONE ELSE ARE JUST GIANTS. ….But I guess it's nice that someone else feels my pain. It isn't our fault the world is on steroids. **

**--**

_Hai Edo!  
aghh, jeez. i can't believe i'm actually doing this thing. you're lucky my cousin Shmayla(Kayla) found this!  
hmm, first of all, Shmayla (whom might as well be my sister) is now hooked of FMA. cause of me. and since she's taller than me now, she feels the need to call me Ed._

so, maybe you could try drinking milk sometimes and getting taller so i won't have to be you so much (that's not a bad thing! just... being so short isn't fun.) haha. have you ever tried chocolate milk? it's fantastic! :D

kbai! (oh, and you might hear from me a little more often. this thing is funner than i thought.)

-KianaNobody. :D

_--_

**I'm guessing "FMA" is the anime show fangirls stalk me on…I hope your cousin isn't one of those rabid fangirls that stalk me nonstop. –cough- Like XxHouranxX –cough-**

**WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT I HAVE TO LOOK UP TO LOOK DOWN!? **

**And since I **_**hate **_**milk, I have never tried chocolate milk and probably never will. So get used to be calling Ed! **

**--**

_Ed,_

Are you creeped out by some of the fics on this website? Like MA rated stories about you and Mustang getting it on. Or there's the twincest. How do you actually feel about it? And then you come across a story every once in awhile where you're PREGNANT... isn't that slightly strange? What is your opinion?

_-Sheepisasin_

--

**I think I've already answered a question like this…but anyway, yes I am creeped out by MANY of the fics. How do I actually feel about them? Well right now I **_**feel**_** like I need to punch someone. I'm pretty sure Mustang isn't a gay pedophile and I have no desire whatsoever to do ****anything**** with him. As for Elricest, how would **_**you **_**like to have buttsex with your brother? (Already said this somewhere…) I get nauseas even with I think about those kind of fics. I have no idea what you fangirls are thinking when you write this crap…**

**Me? A guy? **_**Pregnant?! **_**Um, I'm pretty sure that fits in my book as strange! It goes against the laws of nature for crying out loud!**

**--**

_Dear...oh f-it  
Look im not a polit little girl just for you to know, also My sister who just happens to have a thousand pictures of youand posters and a whole lot of other stuff wanted me to ask. I really hate for being foced to do this but...she currtly stole my Roy Mustang plushy so I have to...she asks. "Will You Vist Me In My Dreams...Er...-glares at sister-...with no shrit on"...Now exuse me...Okay, do NOT say no please lie...I fear my plushies life Also, Tell Alphonse I say I and that theres a race named after him call Alponese...yes it scares me a little...Edward a word from my brother. "You so small my cat could eat you..." Okay...this as gotten very, very, very, very, very long and also LIE, PLEASE SAVE MY PLUSHIES LIFE, I'll distroy her pictures of you and every thing  
Also a better way to explane an anime is this way  
An anime is a show normally based on a mange which is a japanese comic book. Your anime is called Fullmetal Alchemist and is about how you and your brother work to get there bodys back...Also 5th favort anime charri... – Ten-Ten-1994_

_--_

**Writing me again already? –reads more- Oh, your sister is a crazy fangirl. That explains it.**

**Roy Mustang plushie?! Yup! I knew he was behind the plushie thing!**

**And no, I will not visit your sister in her dreams…with no shirt on… (Not that I'd know how anyway.) If it's a Roy plushie, it deserved to be tortured in every way possible. **

**Alphonse says, "Um…cool? Owo" I have to admit, that is a little scary..**

**I AM NOT SMALL!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Just for that, I hope the rabid fangirl eats your plushie. **

**Oh and thanks for explaining the anime thing to me. Now me and Al can find the nearest bookstore and burn the comic books about us. **_**That**_** shoud keep the fangirls away.**

**--------------------**

**If yesterday was Pick On Edward Day, then today was Call Ed Short Day. -___- Uggh…I need an aspirin…**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	6. Fifth Set of Letters

**It's early here in Amestris. Like, **_**really**_** early. But I can't fall back asleep and I have nothing better to do…so sorry if my replies are sort of muddled… -yawn-**

**--**

_hey ed,  
this is rain. i got a question thought i hope it is stupid and i'm not a crazy fan-girl.  
if you found a way to kill roy mustang, would you do it?  
i no i would but then again i rather stick to killing my friends  
tell al i said hi_

**-**_kia127_

_--_

**Yeah I hate him and all, but I'm not a murderer. Like most people, I tend to avoid the killing of other human beings. I don't think anyone deserves to die…but **_**some **_**people (like Mustang) deserve certain means of torture. **

**And about the "killing friends" bit…eh… O_o; Have fun with that….? –awkward-**

**Al says hello…**

**--**

_Heya, Ed  
First off, about Envy. You and he share a daddy, and said daddy left you both...you two might actually be friends! LULZ sry had to be said...but really, try talking to him. Just make sure he doesn't try to rape you or something creepy *coughhotcough* like that.  
As for the comic books and anime thing...they make you look cool in the anime, but in the manga, they make you look like a dork. So BURN THE BOOKS!  
The short thing - what short thing? i don't see any short people *looks down* except for myself. you're like, five feet, right? (they hid it in the manga god-freaking-darnit!) i'm about that height too.  
Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, Roy's shorter than Havoc. XD. Do you like any girls or are you gay? If I may express a personal opinion, the girl you seem to show the most romantic opinion for is Noa from Germany, or Riza, but Riza's too old for you. Maria Ross and Roze are contenders as well. However, if you ever get interested in dating, you might want to try dispelling all the rumours that you're gay - just a little bit of flirting should do it. In fact, Envy would be helpful in this case - he could turn into a random girl and help you out. Watch out though, wouldn't put it past the palmtree to turn into Winry, and there's enough stupid EdxWinry floating around._

HOLY *(#Y*(Y^(*&#*^%^#*&$*! that's one long letter. So, one more thing and I'm gone. Roy does know how hard you work for the Stone, but he and I are both sure you would hate his pity more than cracking a few jokes at your expense. Laugh along, and he'll shut up. Trust me. :)

Byebye!

-NV

**--**

**First off, Envy has tried to kill me. Several times. I think he made it pretty clear that he does not want to be friends with me. -__- If he tried to rape to me or something, he would die. –brandishes spear-**

**YES! I KNEW THE BOOKS WERE EVIL! But I still have to find some sort of way to get rid of the anime… –schemes-**

**Your'e right! He is shorter than Havoc! HA! …Then again Havoc **_**is **_**pretty tall…but who cares?! Take **_**that**_** Mustang! **

**I am **_**not**_** gay. I think I've preached enough on the yaoi pairings for you all to understand that I do **_**not**_** like other men. I think girls are pretty. I've had crushes on them in the past. But with all the traveling I do, it would be hard to have a long-distance-relationship. Plus I'm busy enough as it is trying to find the Stone and looking after my brother to worry about a serious relationship now. **

**Noa? Yeah she was kind of pretty I guess…she looks a lot like Roze. (Who I never had a relationship with by the way. I don't know where these rumors start…) Why Maria Ross? She hugged me only **_**one **_**time. And I was having a chemical break-down at the moment. Doesn't seem all that romantic to me. And you're right, Riza is **_**way**_** too old. (Don't tell her I said that…she'd shoot me..)**

**And Envy would not in a million years want to help me with girl trouble. And why are we bringing up Winry **_**again?!**_

**Yeah that's true, I guess. Good point. But beating him up is so much more fun than laughing along. Thanks anyway for the advice. **

**--**

_Hey Ed,_

Okay, I know what your thinking "OMG! SHE'S A FANGIRL! SHE HAS NAME THAT SOUNDS LIKE I HAVE A SISTER!" Well for your information NO I'M NOT AN FREAKIN FANGIRL! I HATE THEM ALL! THEY NEED TO GO BURN! OR GO ATTACK ROY! Also I just really like your last name and thename Melody is cool two. Well anyway I'm a really big fan of yours. Your my favorite and Alphonse is my second favorite. THE ELRIC BROTHERS ROCK! well I really wanted to know how come at the end of the anime you kept jumping away from Al and it seemed like you two hated each other. Did you guys get in a fight or somthing? Also HOW COME YOU WERE SELLING THINGS TO ROY ON LUCKY STAR? Don't worry your still awsome I just wanted to know how I could get somthing cool from FMA like a state alchemist watch. They look so cool. Also please don't hate for this but HEY ALL YOU STUIPED FANGIRLS! STOP HARASSING EDWARD HE ASKED FOR YOU LOONY IDIOTS TO LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE WORKS HARD HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH YOU GUYS! ALSO ROY MUSTANG YOU NEED TO BE NICER TO ED! AND WHY DON'T YOU GO AND MARRIE HAWKEYE SO HAVOC, BREDA, FALMEN, AND FUREY CAN GET GIRLFRIENDS! YOUR SUCK A STUPIED GUY! LET YOUR SOLDIERS HAVE LIVES! I CAN GET HAWKEYE TO SHOT YOU! ALSO STOP CALLING ED SHORT! HE IS NOT SHORT! ITS JUST HIS AUTO-MAIL IS STUNTING HIS GROWTH! WHEN HE GETTS HIS NORMAL LIMBS BACK HE WILL BE STUPER TALL AND HE MIGHT CAME BACK AND HURT YOU! SO TAKE THAT ROY MUSTANG! ONE MPRE THING! MUSTAGN INSTEAD OF GETTING ALL THE GIRLS IN THE MILITARY TO WEAR MINISKIRTS WHY DON'T YOU WEAR ONE AND SEE HOW IT FEELS! THEY SUCK! AND SO DO YOU ROY MUSTAGN! Okay i'm glad I got that out. Hope you don't hate me or thonk i'm weird. becuase i'm your number one fan. –Melody Elric

_--_

**Yes! All of you fangirls reading this right now, GO ATTACK ROY. Edward Elric commands it of you. **

**Al is flattered that you think we rock. (Because we do.) **

**End of the anime? You mean before I "died"? Well, me and Al had gotten into a lot of arguments about the Stone…and since Al was actually part of the Stone, I was stressed and worried and probably not in a good mood for a while. **

**I SAW THAT VIDEO. (Youtube is another fanbase I have yet to destroy. –glare-) It wasn't me, I promise you! Just some weird girly-type-thing dressed up as me. It might've been actually Roy though. ;P**

**If you want a state alchemist watch, become a state alchemist. That's the only way I know how to get one…the exam is rough though. I'd recommend studying. **

**-reads the rant- Holy... o__o **

**Umm….thanks for telling Roy and the fangirls off..I guess… (And I bet that is the reason why I haven't grown all that much lately!)**

**--**

_(hands Ed aspirin)_

Ok...I'm not saying dear or hey this time. Steriods...I KNEW THEY WERE UP TO SOMETHING! My friend is making fun of you at the moment... she is saying that you're too short to climb a flight of stairs...You're not short...You're travel size. Milk...ew. Me hates milk to. I'm not telling lies. I hate it. What do you think Al will do when he gets his body back?? Will you let him have a cat? If you do, teach it to attack rabid fangirls and Roy.

~Ria442~

_--_

**It always has been steroids! They probably poison the water systems with it! **

**Tell your'e friend that she can CENSORED. (Al here! Uh, brother wrote some pretty rude things so I deleted it while he wasn't looking! Sorry!)**

**Travel size…ha…I'll remember that one.**

**I'm glad someone else hates that crap! Alphonse was starting to say that I was the only one who did! **

**When Al gets his body back, we'll probably both move back to Resembool. Maybe build a house or something. And yes, I'll let him have a cat…since he won't stop NAGGING ME. Good idea! I should've thought about that sooner. –deliberating buying a cat-**

**--**

_Hey Ed,  
Okay I know I already messaged you for chapter 5, I really hope you'll reply to both of these. Okay well I have a stpry on Quizilla called FMA! A New Story! I was hopeing you could check it out and tell all your friends. Also when you get Al's body back you should let the poor boy have a kitten. Well sorry if you think i'm weird or a freak a lot of people do. I never know why. I think its becuase i'm a total FMA lover. ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR JUST SO AWSOME! Well sorry if you hate me and sorry that your always tired. Tell Al I said hi and that i'm both of you and Al's beiggest fan. YOU GUYS ROCK! KEEP UP THE HARD WORK! And agian i'm sorry for being anoying and please reply to both of my reviews. –Melody Elric_

_--_

**I don't mind replying to both…just no more flaming rants please? Heh… **

**ANWAY! I'll check out the story and get back to on that one. As for telling my friends, how about I tell Al to read it? He's always willing to read fanfictions. (Except Elricest, obviously.) **

**WHEN WE HAVE MONEY AND SHELTER TO SUPPORT IT I'LL GET HIM THE DAMN KITTEN ALRIGHT?! You'd better be reading this Al! You're on my last nerve with the nagging!**

**You're not as weird as some of the other people that have written me. Plus, I know a lot of people that are weirder then you. Envy for example. Just look at his freaking hair. **

**Alphonse says, "Hi! Thanks for thinking of me! (With the kitten thing you wrote…) You rock too! :D" **

**--**

_Damn it, Ed!  
How'd I know you'd be difficult? Heh. Fine. Hate what you you're missing out! Anything with chocolate in it is pure good. :) Anyway, I noticed that you have a soft spot for little kids! Mostly little girls, though. And it came to me that it might have something to do with your mum? I'm curious. Hm. :/  
Oh, and I somehow stumbled across some YouxAl yaoi, and I'll have you know that I was sick for quite a while. So, please... For my stomach's sake... Control your fangirls! aiightthnx. :)  
-KianaNobody :D_

PS. My cousin asks me to call her Col. Mustang! And she even calls me Fullmetal Halfpint! So, I don't think she's one of your crazed fangirls!

**--**

**Ha ha. I'll never drink that disgusting, opaque liquid! **

**Kids are…ok. I'm nice to them, (more or less) but I'm not about to kick them or anything. Many people like kids…am I so different? It might come from my mom, but me and Al aren't all that old and are frequently called kids. I don't know! My brain is fried at the moment. **

**I have a plan to control them! Thanks to Ria, I've decided to get Al a cat (When we get our bodies back) and teach it to attack fangirls. Al says it can't be done, but I can try, can't I?!**

**Plus it's a relief to know that your cousin isn't a rabid fangirl. –sigh-**

**--**

**These letters were certainly interesting…in a weird sort of way. It looks like I'm making friends instead of enemies this time. Well, I'm hungry. You know the drill.**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	7. Sixth Set of Letters

**Decided to reply to these early for the sake of KianaNobody and her rabid cousins. Personally, I'd like to see their reactions. **

_--_

_Dear Ed,_

I'm trying not to go absolutely crazy because I don't want you mad at me. ^^;; Anyway, this is sorta just a random question.  
How do you feel about the many crack pairings that some idiots make up? I remember an EdStrong( you and Armstrong), EdxEd, EdxPocky(seriously..), and other very...disturbing pairings.  
Also, I believe that people are wrong. You're not short at all, you're taller than I am...-is one of the shortest people in school- I feel your pain...

Anyway, that's all from me for now.  
--Katie/batdiva101

--

**Ugh. Crack pairings. They're almost worse than Elricest. **

**They're just another form of literal torture fangirls like to inflict upon me! In other words, I DO NOT LIKE THEM. Armstong? Ew. –shudder- Me and Me? What am I, Narcissus or something?! And MexPocky…can someone love candy that much?! **

**NO. Just no. **

**Whenever you feel to urge to write crack pairings fangirls, go do charity work instead. Make the world a better place.**

**WE ARE NOT SHORT. WE ARE TRAVEL SIZE!**

**--**

_WHOHMYGOD.  
i'm dying. right now, my mom is working, so i'm over my cousin(Shmayla's) house. and she immediatly told me to get on here and post something. now, i've got Kayla and her three sisters hanging over my shoulders and yelling random things into my ears. it's too early. -grabs tylenol-_

about you not kicking kids? i salute you... because lord knows i wouldn't mind kicking a few right now. -sighs- Kayla (i mean... Roy) wants to know how many years apart you and Al are in age. And everyone says hi to Al. The youngest thinks he's cool. and the second youngest is ranting on how she doesn't want to be Envy. She wants to be Scar. -_-U  
oh, and thanks for trying to contain the fangirls. if you need any help, just let me know. i'd be more than willing to strangle- i mean... give them a stern talking to... -coughs-  
-KianaNobody :D

**--**

**Shmayla…isn't that the cousin who calls you Ed and calls herself Roy? I feel sorry for you. **

**Try to think happy thoughts. Envy in a palmtree suit. Roy in a blender. They always (eh..almost always) calm me down. **

**Me and Al are only a year apart, actually. It just with the birthdays that messes people up…**

**Al says, "Hi! owo Thanks for thinking I'm cool! And you shouldn't be Envy or Scar…maybe my friend Fletcher or Winry! They're nicer. ;3"**

**Strangle all you want, but I didn't tell you anything. xP **

**--**

_Hi again...  
Yeah, Envy's kind of insane, but (puts on psychiatrist glasses) He's had trauma in childhood, which has caused disturbance in the moral center of his brain, which leads to -  
Envy: whacks Moonlit. Moonlit falls over.  
Envy: Good, she shut up. I have questions for you. One. Why do you suck so bad? Two. When Al was the Philosopher's Stone, why didn't you just use it to bring back his body? Answer; YOU'RE AN IDIOT. Also, a tip. WATCH YOUR BACK, ED, I'M COMING FOR YOU!  
Moonlit: bonks Envy. BAD ENVY! Be nice to Ed!  
Envy: sulk. Fine. Here's a cookie.  
Moonlit: Take the strychnine out of it, Envy.  
Envy: growl. Fine. No cookie.  
Moonlit: Really sorry for him being here, I have to babysit him for Lust.  
Envy: You BABYSITTING ME? I'm babysitting YOU!  
Moonlit: You wish...I'd better stop before Envy destroys the comput-  
WARNING: THE COMPUTER WILL BLOW UP IN THREE...TWO...ONE...  
BYEBYE_

**--**

**Poor Moonlit. Stuck with the insane, drag queen palmtree. –shakes head- **

**And I didn't bring Al's body back at the time because we didn't know what to do, dammit! Mind your own business! **

**I'll be waiting to beat you up, palmtree! –shakes fist-**

**--**

_hey ed,  
if i had a choice in killing people, i chose some people i hate but others wise i just stop talking with them.  
y did u try to bring ur mom back? i want to know cause i grew up without a mom._

_--kia1270_

_--_

**Even if you hate them, it isn't right to kill people….**

**We brought her back because we missed her. It wasn't right not having her with us; it was a hard blow when she died. We weren't really thinking of the consequences back then. I'm sorry to hear that you also didn't have a mom growing up.**

**--**

_YO~!  
Ok...I'm obsessed with the show. Plus I love reviewing stuff like this. My friend hates you now for being mean...she just went over to the Al fanclub...now she is laughing like a drunk person. Well whatever. I would buy a White Bengal Tiger to keep fans away. They're tougher than small, little, pipsqueak cats and dogs._

OK!! Since you said you didn't like Yaoi, I decided to read some and the results was...different. Very few I liked...but one just CREEPED ME OUT! You were an experiment and Roy was also in there...you got...pregnant...and WHERE DOES THE BABY COME OUT ANYWAY!!? That's just creepy. Some people just don't get it that MALES CAN'T GET PREGNANT! VERY LONG MESSAGE HERE! Ok...different subject...what's your favorite movie? Just a random question...ignore me for a few more letters for me to get my sanity back.

~Ria442~

**--**

**Holy crap your'e lucky. I was just about to post this chapter when I saw that the number of reviews mysteriously changed from 32 to 33. Be thankful I noticed in time. **

**Al is going to make his own little advice column on this user…he wanted you to let your friend know for some reason. -__-; **

**ANYWAY. NOTE TO FANGIRLS: MEN CAN****NOT**** BECOME PREGNANT! Ugh. The headaches coming back. –lies head on computer desk- If Roy ever finds these fics, he'll never let me live it down…**

**I don't have a favorite movie, actually. T.V. kills braincells, so I tend to avoid it. **

**Good luck with the sanity. **

**--**

…**.**

**I have no comment on these ones. -___-;;**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	8. Seventh Set of Letters FIXED!

**Sorry it took me so long to reply to these…I've been on the road ALL FREAKING DAY and haven't had time to find a computer. I'm exhausted. Cut me some slack if my answers are a little off, ok?**

**--**

_Hi Ed,  
Hey thanks for replying to my last two reviwes. Yeah I understand that you would get annoyed of people and Al telling to let him get a cat. Well I know something that well make you happy. Well my sister and I were watching that last two episodes of the anime and when you "died" we cried so hard. I hate Envy and the other humunculi. I also hate that Hughes dies and Roy never tells you. Well I wanted to ask you and Al well um would you guys be my friend? Stuiped question right? Don't answere it I already know the answeres NO. I don't blame you. You guys are smart and strong you would never want to be friends with a weird girl like me. I'm an FMA workshiper so that is weird. I never should have done this but my littel sister wanted me to. She's the a year younger than me. I'm only 13. Well She wanted me to tell Al hi for. God, Edward i'm sorry i'm being annoying and waseting your time. I'm sorry. Well Bye. sorry if you hate me._

**AND**

_Hey Ed,  
Thats good you'll get Al a cat. Oh and um sorry about the review on chapter 7. My sister has neen anoying me and being stressed out by her and our new kitten. Oh, and um she's a fangirl but don't worry I have her on a leash. If she tries to writting anything to you and can always hurt her. Which by the way hold on. *Goes and transmuts and cage for sister* Okay i'm back. Sorry about that. Well I just have to know. when is the second series of FMA coming to america. Its coming out this spring in japan. Oh also if you hate your father than how come in the movie you care about him? Also in the first FMA game do you really like harmony? And I saw a video when Vic Mignogna was singing in your voice and your not that bad (you just can't hit a high note) Well also I don't know why people call you short becuase your not. (Your just really hot) Okay well i'll stop waseting your time and go kill me sister who keeps writing things in the little (). Okay well tell Al I said hi and I hope that you two and I can be friends. Well later. *Starts chasing little sister* -Melody Elric_

_--_

**You're welcome for the replies…just keep to the reviews at one at a time from now on, ok? ^_^;**

**YES! Envy is worth hating, the palmtree, cross-dressing bastard… And Roy was a bastard too for keeping Hughes's death from us… **

**You don't have to be embarrassed to ask me and Al to be your friend. (Al already loves most of you fangirls…) It's not like we're gods or anything and think you don't deserve to be your friend. But it **_**is **_**kind of hard to have friends over the internet, but if you'd like, we'd be happy to be your "penpals." That's just like being friends, but writing to each other, right?**

**Thank you for keeping your rabid sister under control, I appreciate it. –relieved sigh-**

**I didn't even know about anime until a few days ago, so I really have no idea what you are talking about with the new anime series or whatever…sorry…**

**In the movie? Do you mean when I was in Germany? –looking this stuff up- (I've learned that Google is a very valuable resource…) I didn't care about him any more than I usually do, but it was still hard to see him kill himself. Like I said before, no one deserves to die. **

**I'M IN A VIDEO GAME TOO?! (Censored by Al for expletives ^w^;;)**

**And how is Vic able to sing in my voice? O_o Is he a crazy fan too?!**

**Plus thanks for calling me hot…I guess… -awkward- Don't feel bad for writing me…I inflicted this upon myself…**

**--**

_Edward!  
Why are you insulting the fans of us?! I mean, some of them are...kinda scary, but you should still be nice to them! If they like you then you should be thankful for that! Oh yeah! When are you coming to visit again? Grandma and I need to see if your shrimpy body has grown since the last time we've seen each other._

-Winry

_--_

**I don't insult **_**all**_** of them, Winry. Only the freakish ones. Geez. -___- And I don't know when we can visit, OK?! I'm extremely busy at the moment, I'm pretty sure we got a lead on the Stone. **

**I AM NOT A SHRIMP!!! **

**--**

_I'M VERY LUCKY! JOY!! *Losing sanity here!* Ok...I need to lay off the sugar...wait...you're still a kid. Why don't you eat large amounts of sugar? YOU COULD ANNOY THE COLONEL!! I HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION FOR THE YAOI! Stop being so smexy, then you will have no more yaoi probably. What do you say for the EdXWin one? You and Winry together...forever...*Giggles* THAT'S SO CUTE~! Told you that I would be reviewing alot...so many questions so little time. Heh..heh. My friend says hi to Al... 0_0; she is really creepy. OK BYE!_

~Ria442~

**--**

**I used to eat a **_**lot **_**of sugar. I got stomach-aches a lot as a kid. But traveling and fighting and all…I have to stay fit so I tend to lay off the sweets nowadays. And I think I annoy Mustang enough even without the sugar. ;P**

**Is smexy some weird substitute for sexy or something?! I'm hearing that a lot. Why are you looking at me in that way anyway?! **

**W-why does everyone think me and W-Winry are a couple?! SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND DAMMIT! **

**Tell your friend to review in Al's Advice Column. He's starting to feel bad because he's hardly had any reviews, and its starting to sicken me. **

**--**

_Hiya Edwardo,  
Let me start off by saying,YOU ARE SHORT! GET OVER IT! :3_

Second, did you know you have the same name as Edward Cullen? You two are total opposites! He's TALL, dark, and handsome! (Vampire... -drool-) And you are blonde (So am I, but oh well.) short, and hates milk. Which is kind of weird because you were brought into this world on "milk." x3 So just suck it up, drink the milk, and grow up already! You're 16 years old and you act like you're still 10. Don't get me wrong I am a fangirl, me and my best friend (I'm using her user to review this) have a little "third person" fanfiction we write for fun over texting, and we make you sound all manly. xD We love you. I enjoy huggling Jinx's Ed plushie against my boobs. (Because I know you love them! ;3) Yeah...^_^

Love you!

-Thorn Verity

P.S. I love kitties! x3

_--_

**HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! I AM NOT SHORT! EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST TOO TALL!!! **

**I don't know (Or care) who Edward Cullen is. But I can tell I already hate him since you're comparing him to me. (For the second freaking time, ****I am not short!****) **

**I…I have no comment on the milk thing. Wait, actually, I do! I was a baby back then, so my taste buds weren't developed so I hadn't learned the disgusting taste of milk. So ha. **

**And I can act however I want! You're not my mom! –sticks tongue out-**

**Oh great…you write fanfictions…they're better not be any yaoi in there…**

**I feel bad for the plushie.**

**--**

**I'll reply to the rest tomorrow…I'm tired and I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow.**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	9. Eighth Set of Letters

**Ugh. Sorry. I was half asleep yesterday when I replied and I didn't notice that I'd scrolled up on the reviews. So sorry if I skipped yours…now I have to reply to ALL of them today… -has aspirin ready-**

**--**

_Why am I doing thius again, anywho computers also kill brain cells you know, The bright light hurts your eyes as well...er...um Sorry for the last crazy letter...it was sometime late at night...my sister burned all her pulshies of you, posters and so forth so your down one crazy fan girl...but she now as million of posters of another fma charri -coughalcough-...its scray okay scary SHE GOT THE SAME TYP OF AMOUR* ITS IN HE ROOM IN FROUNT OF THE DOOR AND IT STARES AT YOU...its scary...STAY NEAR AL...I feel nice warning you about this...Oh by the way, For the phoilpher stone...did you use try using water? I was looking some stuff up and well MABEY if you used enough water(about the amount of 8-12 humans) you could make the stone...ya its confusing. Also, you shouldn't get a tiger it will eat you...i know this by reading, im a freaking bookworm, I find time to read four books takes me about 2 hours to reasd four harry potter books O.o then i come on here and read fanfics about some of my fave anime pairings. Also, My friend is only 3'4" shes in high school people call her short and she doesn't freak out, Also with your temper its best by brother I had to go though it...people called him fat and would get VERY mad...  
Okay before I have anything else to write I have to tell you Envy is doing this as well...Only is alot nicer...and you two share the same temper...sorry if this is me ranting on but rememeber STAY NEAR ALL Try giving him a shotgun D  
*Yes my spelling sucks -Weapon-Master_

_--_

**Yeah I know, but T.V. kills more. So ha. **

**-sighes with relief- Good. I really don't need any more crazy fans…I have enough as it is. And Al is currently staring at the computer screen in shock…can spirits go into shock? I'm starting to get worried. Anyway, I'll transmute a gun for him later.**

**If we used water we would've gotten a fake stone like Cornello or the Tringums..I don't feel like explaining all this (It will take HOURS.) so just trust me when I say water won't work. It isn't enough of a sacrifice. **

**Winry calls me a bookwork too. But books have so much information in them to be learned, why ignore them?**

**Well I don't care if your friend doesn't get angry, but I do because I AM NOT SHORT so they have no reason to piss me off by saying that.**

**Damn Envy! Don't listen to anything he says, he will only use you. **

**Two words: Spell check**

**--**

_Hey Ed !_

Just one thing first .. i am NOT a fangirl! ur cute and all but not.. hot? :) so happy al got his body back! All the manga covers of a suit of armor were starting to scare me o.O  
Anyways..  
Question numero uno!!  
yeah, we all know you like winry . So why won't you tell her?  
Question numero dos!!  
have you read any EdxWinry fics? lol those are like the only ones i read  
And last question!!  
Was alchemy really hard to learn? I mean, you were like really young when you did, so it must've been hard..

ciao 4 now! xD -xRosewithThornsx

**--**

**Yeah the armor was kind of creepy…it scared a lot of people. Mostly children. (Do NOT tell him that.)**

**W-WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS BRING UP WINRY?! She's my friend, dammit! FRIEND! AGH! **

**And once, I did make the mistake of clicking on a fic about me and Winry… **

**It was kind of hard to learn I guess..with all the math and chemistry that goes on…but me an Al loved it so much it was more of a hobby than a subject to learn. **

**--**

_gee, edo. thanks for the pity. :)  
the happy thoughts did alot for my common sense. it was almost like i didn't have a bunch of sugarhype kids screaming insanities in my ear. it was nice. heh._

they flipped when they saw you reply. there were a lot of changes in attitude. the second youngest(Mya) decided that she wanted to be Winry because they have so much in common, (youngest)Tia is Al, even though she's a lot younger than me. and Kayla... doesn't really deserve a comment. she made up more short jokes than Mustang could ever think of. it was torture. D: and then, their mom got involved, and she wants to be Riza or Gracia. Their dad is already Maes, so I figure their mom will be Gracia, but i don't know... I guess my mom is Riza.

Tia wants to know how your hair is so amazing. and, where she can get a coat like yours. and i still need tylenol. -sighs again-  
-KianaNobody. :D

_--_

**I'm glad the happy thoughts helped out. xD **

**I wish I could've seen their faces, it's must've been entertaining. **

**So does that mean that Mya likes to hit you (Since your'e me…) with a wrench and Tia is in a suit of armor. (Al is flattered that someone wants to be him, by the way.) **

**And I hope that Kayla NEVER meets Mustang. The two of them together would, with without doubt, make my own personal hell. **

**Does that also mean that their dad likes showing off pictures of them? And your mom carries a gun?! o__o**

**I wash my hair. That is my secret. (They should try it sometime.)**

**My coat is one of a kind, thank you very much. You can't get it **_**anywhere**_**!**

**--**

_Hey, Ed._

Linda again. Heard Al's making a profile, too. I've gotta check that out. Though, talking to you like this makes me feel a little weird about watching a show with you in it... and reading the manga.

Seems all your fangirls are shorter than you. (I think I might be. I'm almost 5'2.") Haha, I'm shorter than everyone I've met. T-T That's really not that funny, huh?

Back on topic. (I'm a little ADD today.) What's the latest scientific breakthrough in your "world?" Ours is this cool partical accelorator(stupid spelling, ugh.) That may introduce elements we've never seen before! It's awesome and is bigger than a house.

That was long, sorry about that!  
Linda Green

_--_

**Thanks for reviewing Al's advice thingey. He hasn't got around to replying to them all yet, but they'll be up pretty soon. **

**And unfortunately we have yet to destroy the anime, as we don't know it's origins… but it won't be long now! **

**Yeah I have noticed that everyone that writes to me is either shorter or the same height as me. (Which isn't short at all.) **

**Our latest scientific breakthrough would probably be…I don't know. ^__^;; I haven't read a newspaper in ages…but I've heard rumors of a weird device that broadcasts moving pictures. Impossible, right?**

**--**

_Hey Ed! I have a couple of questions for you, if you don't mind..._

So... do you like cheese? XD

Do you like Winry? ^.^ If not... what about Roy? XD

Sorry, I'm a yaoi fangirl as well... forgive me for my impulse.

Why are you even bothering to answer the letters?

Um, that's all I have for now...

- Sal

_--_

**I like cheese… I put it on sandwhiches and on pasta…is this a trick question or something? Or is it simply a stupid question? **

**YOU'RE BRINGING UP WINRY **_**AGAIN!? **_**I think we already went through this!! x///x**

**For the hundredth time, I DO ****NOT**** LIKE ROY MUTANG! IN ANY WAY! HE IS A BASTARD! The end. –mutters profanities about yaoi-**

**I really have no idea. But the letters can be entertaining, and I've found that I get curious as to what your reactions will be to my replies. It is pure insanity, I know. **

**--**

_hey ed,  
i no this may seem wrong but y did u want to bring back ur mom? i guess i shouldn't have asked but i'm just wanderin cause i grew up without a mother._

**--**

**I answered this same question in the Sixth Set of Letters, so you can find your answer there. (Yeah, I'm lazy. Get over it.)**

**--**

_Now my friend is saddened. She loves annoying you. AND IT'S WORKING!!At least you don't live BY her. 0__0;_

Ok the deal with smexy, is that it also means sexy...yes...I know what I just said and I had a big crush on ya... I USED to have one, but NOT anymore. YOU CAN'T FALL IN LOVE FICTIONAL PEOPLE!...EVEN IF THEY WRITE BACK!!

EdXWin is better than EdXRoy. or EdXArm...or EdXHav...or EdXEnv...or (CENSORED THANKS TO MY FRIEND!)

The games and DVDs ARE FREAKIN AWESOME! I've betten the game so many times...both of the games and I hope the third one comes to the USA. So far I've only killed you once out of the whole time playing it. EVERY ITEM YOU PICK UP YIOU SAY THANK YOU FOR THE 2nd GAME!! I have all the DVDs, cuz I can, I have the manga, cuz I can, and the games, cuz I can and spent so much money on them.

OK!! I BETTER GO CUZ MY FRIEND IS WANTING THE COMPUTER AND MY FANFICTION ACCOUNT TO SEND MESSAGES TO AL! She wants to find one just about him... OK I BETTER GO BEFORE SAOMETHING BAD HAPPENS!! (Looks at friend who is holding a taser gun.) ...

~Ria442~

P.S...HELP ME!!

_--_

**Why? Do you live by her? If so, I pity you.**

**I thought it did…(Pretty obvious though..) And I am not fictional! It's only that some person named Arakawa has been spying on my and started publishing my life story! **

**I have no further comment on the EdxWin. x///x**

**So…I'm a manga and anime character, I have my own dolls and video games, and I'm on DVD. Am I some sort of rock star or something wherever you are?! (Mustang's fault, I'm sure.) That's…freaky. I didn't know I had so many fans.. –cough- crazy fangirls –cough-**

**And yeah, I saw her rabid reply on his advice column. O__o;;**

**--**

_hiya again,:P  
Im done with my goffing off its fun..xP  
and dont worry there isnt any yaoi.-shudder- I was kidding about the short thing to your not short your fun size. x3 and by the way every fangirl can stalk youm, you are on something wonderful called the internet x3. Now to a serious you dont want fangirls then y in every chance possible do you rip your coats/shirt off to show your automail? and y do you wear so many layers anyway like when you go in the desert arnt you hot wearing black leather pants, heavy black combat boots, a shirt, a coat, and a coat over that man thats alot, and there all dark colors that attract the sun. not smart for someone thats suppose to be a kid prodigy.o and i dont like you b?c i think your cute i like you b?c of your bad boy attitude, so ya know xP_

~Thorn Verity

**--**

**Good. I've had enough with yaoi fangirls. **

**I prefer travel size (Since I travel…heh… -__-;;) but fun size is cool too. :P**

**Also not to mention, I caused a whole second level of fangirl-stalker-ness when I created this letter-reply-whatever-you-call-it. So I'm pretty aware of the dangers of the Internet…so far I've seen SHRINES to me…and countless fanarts of me shirtless. -___- I'm avoiding using the computer other then writing to you all. **

**Ok, a few days ago I didn't even know I **_**had**_** fangirls. I had no idea they can watch my every move. So I wasn't purposely trying to please the fangirls, for your information. **

**Yeah…black leather in the desert is **_**not**_** pleasant. I sweated to death. By the time I'd reached Lior, I looked like I has just jumped out of a pool. I'm never going in the desert ****again****. **

**And thanks for the information. I'll try to be more polite from now on. -___-**

**--**

_Hey Ed_

In our world, you're not a real character but you are popular among the fans. I'm more of a Fuery, Dorochet, Havoc, Al and Scar fan. I'm a fan of yours too.

Do you get called sense?

If you had known that Envy, Sloth & Lust were at headquarters, would you have stopped them to save Hughes if you had not been on that train?

Even after all the things Scar had done, do you think he has some humanity there? I mean, he did want to save his people in the anime version.

Do you think that philosopher stone is a curse for trouble?

Do you like to make fun of Roy alot?

You're not short. You're size challenged.

Funniest thing you seen?

Reaction to Al being paired with Havoc and Scar in fanfiction?

Most random thing you seen?

Is it true that the others got Roy to dress as a drag queen and hit on Scar?

Would you rather be locked in a closet with Lust, Scar, Winry, Armstrong, Dorochet, Havoc or Fuery?

Is it true that Havoc has a dirty mind?

What has the other military men done to you? Have they ever blackmailed you into something you didn't want to do?

Has Riza ever shot bullets at you?

What "Small" jokes have been pointed towards you?

I find it funny when you over react about your height (in a good way). Why did you say things that people didn't even say about you? You got to admit that you got to laugh about it.

Ever got Roy into trouble with a girl?

You got some advantages to being not so tall. You can move much faster at times and can hide very well.

Fall, Winter, Summer or Spring?

Would you have killed Shou Tucker if you had the chance to?

Do you see yourself as a killer when you nearly destroyed the Slicer brothers in the anime?

Ever fell into any water or holes?

Thoughts on chimeras like Martel & Dorochet?

What's your term of suvival?

Do you tend to be selfish?

Bye  
Sonar

PS: I bet you are glad that you got some different questions for once.

_--_

**Dorochet has fans? O__o Don't tell him that. It'll go to his head, I'm positive of that. HE**

**HELL YES. I would've done anything in my power to save Hughes, he didn't deserve to be killed like that. **

**Even though he was a little messed up in the brain, Scar **_**was**_** only human. He was trying to avenge his people, but he just went around it in the wrong way.**

**Hell yes to that too. Look how much trouble it caused me and Al! (I'm assuming you saw my show…) It is nothing but trouble, so don't bother looking for it unless you like homunculi trying to kill you. **

**I make fun of Roy all the freaking time. xP Al gets sick of it after a while I think…**

**I like travel size, honestly. But I'm glad that you can see that I am not short! (Eat that Winry!)**

**The funniest thing I've seen is: Some confused old lady mistook Al for a trashcan, took of his helmet, and threw a week's worth of dirty cat litter in his armor. I laughed until I couldn't breathe. xD**

**I'd be a mixture of amused, nauseas, and horrified.**

**Most random thing I've seen: A girl running down the street screaming, "I GOT IT!!!" o___o**

**Um…I don't think that happened…but if it did, I'd like to see it! xD**

**Well, let's see…Lust would murder me, Scar would too, I don't want to give my fangirls the satisfaction of me being locked in a closet with Winry, Armstrong would probably break down the door anyway, Dorochet would try to pick the lock, Havoc would complain, and Fuery would cry. So probably Armstrong because I wouldn't be in there that long with him anyway. **

**I don't talk to Havoc all that much, but he might. You should ask him.**

**Once, Breda dared me to write a fake love letter to Riza from Mustang, but I didn't want to get shot.**

**Thankfully, no. Not yet anyway.**

**Too many to count. I don't feel like counting them all now... -___-**

**Because I know they are thinking stuff like that. And being called short is no laughing matter. :( **

**No, but that's a good idea! Thanks! xD **

**That's a positive way of thinking…BUT I'M NOT SMALL!**

**Spring. Not to hot, and not to cold. **

**Like I've said before, no one deserves to die. But I **_**would've**_** locked him in an asylum. **

**I don't know. Good question…but since they weren't really human, and I didn't deliberately try to destroy them, I don't think my self as a killer. But then again, I could be in denial… -pondering-**

**I've fallen into countless holes. (Accidentally!) I think I fell into one while I was in a graveyard… **

**Eh, they're ok, I guess. Pretty much like normal people, but with different instincts.**

**My definition of survival: Being able to live in tough environments or situations.**

**When it comes to food, maybe sometimes… -avoids question-**

**Agh…a lot of questions.. o__O**

**--**

_...-read the last response to the last question in thr 8th set- O_O -hides away-_

Someone else: my friend has hidden herself due to the fact she doesn't want you to hate her for writing yaoi. Infact...she's repeating: 'I'm sorry!' Over and over. Anyway, she wanted me to ask you if you like stuff that is made from milk, such as cheese.

Oh yeah, she also burned her Roy plushie for some reason. O_O Do you happen to know why?

--Batdiva101's friend

_--_

**As long as she's sorry (Which she should be!) I won't lecture her on the tortures of yaoi fanfictions. **

**As long as it is not **_**purely**_** milk, I'm fine with it. I like cheese and ice cream and that kind of stuff…**

**And it might've been because I said something about how all Roy plushies deserve to be burned…or maybe she's just insane. You decide.**

**--**

_Dear Fullmetal,_

_Sorry, it's Mimi again! I forgot to put the following in my last message! _

_Number 1: Have you checked YouTube yet? If you put your name in, you'll be_

_surprised... _

_Number 2: I forgot to mention that I'm a total Roy hater... (uses alchemy to_

_make a huge cannon) DOWN WITH THE FLAME ALCHEMIST! _

_Thanks in advance if you can answer!_

_-Mimi Suzuki aka The Music Alchemist_

**--**

**Sorry about not getting this sooner, Mimi. ^__^;;**

**Yes I've visited Youtube…I don't think I'll be going on it again anytime soon. –glares-**

**DOWN WITH HIM! (I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. :D)**

**--**

**So many letters…I think my brain is fried… X__X **

**I guess I deserve that for not replying for so long…**

**Oh and by the way, me and Al are going to be on the road the nest few days, so it might take me a while to get to your review. I only got to them so early today because it is raining buckets here and we had to stop early. **

**Well…you know the drill.**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_

**NOTE: THIS is really the Eighth Set…like I said, I was half asleep. Sorry. **


	10. Ninth Set of Letters

**You're all lucky I check this frequently. -___-**

**--**

_Hey Ed,  
Okay i'll TRY to limet the letters to one a day. I'm really sorry that your having trouble finding the stone, but hey I found somthing about it that you might want. I'll tell you later. Thanks so much for wanting to be pin pals. Also you must really not know anything about your own anime. When did you eve get a computer? Were do you live now? Its kinda creepy knowing an anime dude doesn't know anything about his iwn anime. What ever at least I get to talk to you. Hey why don't you ever let Al talk on here two? Just wanted to know. I'm still really sorry i've been accting like all those other STUPIED IDIOTIC fangirls. (sorry about the flaming rant thing) Also i'l try by very hardest to keep these letters really short. You must get tired of reading long letters. I don't blame you. Well my sister has moved on to likeing Al now so no worries. Also how do you find an alchemy book? I've looked everywere. Also How do become a state alchemist? Well I hope you don't mind if I help you get information about the stone. Just want to help my new friend. Oh, alos have you read my story on Quizilla yet? Hope you have. also hope you find the stone. Tell Al and Winry I say Hi and that they rock. Laters. ^-^ XD -Melody Elric_

_--_

**Hey its not your fault we can't find it…I'd like to hear that bit of information you have though. And no problem being your pen pal.**

**I don't own a computer…I usually borrow innkeeper's ones if they have one. Of some of the libraries I run into have one. I don't live anywhere as I'm currently on the road with Al. **

**And like I said previously, I didn't even know my life was an anime until recently! **

**I did let Al get his own letter-writing thingey on here…except its more for advice, I'm sure he won't mind just chatting either though. **

**I've had longer letters, and a little reading won't kill me. **

**If you can't find alchemy books in a bookstore, then I'd suggest a library. They usually have a good stock. To become a state alchemist, first you have to go to Central and take the written and physical exam. Its very grueling though, I wouldn't suggest it unless you are an advanced alchemist. **

**I haven't gotten to read your story yet sorry, but when I have more time, I'll take a look at it. **

**Actually, Winry got an user. Now she can annoy me at home AND on the internet. -__-**

**Her user is Automail 4 Life. She sent me a review not to long ago..**

**--**

_Gomen Ed...but I'm gonna keep on writing it. ^^;; My boyfriend really likes it and I promised I'd keep on writing my story until I finished. ^^;;  
Any, I'm still really really sorry. __

-Batdiva

**--**

**Fine. But only I because I believe in promise-keeping and all that…**

**(But if there is buttsex, we will have a problem! :( )**

**--**

_dear ed_

_you didn't answer my last question. do u like winry it safe for you to answer i wont tell her your answer. like i not going to tell u her answer. anyway another question i have is how tall are u it not that i want to know how short u are its just to see how tall u are compared to me. i'm short and i'm proud of i am irish too_

**AND**

_dear ed_

i have a random question that just poped into my head do u like blondes or brunettes.

**AND**

_dear ed_

is your brother still in that armor and if so i might be able to get him out of it i have this theory  
yours truly  
The Rose Alchemist

**--**

**Can we keep it at one review per chapter please? I have a lot of reviews to reply to, and not that much time to type 'em. **

**And yes, I think I did answer that question in…ergg..Second Set of Letter. I think. You can look at that. –lazy-**

**I am a completely not short 5'1! Since you said you are short and Irish, does that mean all Irish people are short? Or are you one of those leprechaun-thingeys I've heard about?**

**I don't have a specification… o_o; -awkward- **

**And yes, he's still in the armor. I'd like to hear that theory.**

**--**

_i'm sorry that i asked. my mother died two weeks after i was born and hell has been broken for me since my family seems to hate me. Well except my dad, uncles, and my aunt.  
what if u kill someone on an accident cause that is what i did and i didn't mean to? -master holykira_

_--_

**I actually have killed someone on accident…-cough- Greed –cough- I mean, I fought him and all, but I never expected him to really **_**die**_**. It wasn't exactly pleasant to feel like a murderer. **

**And I'm sorry to hear about your mom. **

**--**

_me again xp,  
i have yet another question for you. what would you if randomly (since in the anime world it can happen) a person with myserious powers came up to you and brought your mom, your arm, your leg and your brothers body back from beyond the gate, but the only catch would be you had to date that person that brought them back,would you do it?_

~Thorn Verity

p.s go to this link /watch?v=IMyY7Qu5XTc its amazing and should get the fangirls off your back (jk) x3

_--_

**That's…a very iffy question. It would be very tempting,…to be able to see my mom and Al like we were before. But then again, I kind of feel responsible for getting Alphonse's body back, since it's my fault he lost it. And since the accident, I've learned that everyone has their time on earth, and it was my mom's time to go. (But if Hohenheim would've stayed she would've survived longer…) So, I don't know. It probably would depend on the current situation I would be in. **

**Oh and, you didn't give me the whole link so HA. **

**--**

_Dear Ed,_

Okay,I don't wanna waste your time by filling up this space with chatter, so let's go straight to the questions :) (Oh, and on a side note, I'm not gonna tell you that my "sister/cousin/friend" is "forcing" me to ask these 's just me) Here it goes:  
1) Do you speak in Japanese or English? Because in the anime, you are clearly speaking Japanese, but right now, you're speaking English.(Not to mention the English Dubs.) So, which one is it?  
2) How would you feel about getting Al a kitten for his 14th birthday? (Don't you think he deserves one? :P)  
3) Have you ever met a fan-girl in your travels? (Not online, but while you were travelling.) If so, what has been your most outrageous experience with them?

Ok, well that's all I really have to know. Hope you answer :)

(P.S. I have secret inside information that the government puts growth hormones in milk. Because you do not drink milk, this has not affected you. Therefore everyone in the world is freakishly tall, and you are the only normal sized person in the world. Beat THAT Colonal Mus-TARD!)

**-**_wildbutterfly666_

_--_

**It does seem kind of suspicious when a bunch of evil sisters and cousins are writing me instead of the actual users, doesn't it?**

**Since the Arakawa person that has been secretly spying on me is Japanese, it would make sense that she would make the anime in Japanese, right? I am speaking in clear English right now. **

**HE'S NOT GETTING A DAMN KITTEN UNTIL WE CAN SUPPORT IT, OK?!**

**Um…I don't think so. If I did, I'd probably run for my life anyway.**

**I KNEW THEY WERE UP TO SOMETHING! And you guys blame me for not drinking milk! I told you it was evil! HA! **

**--**

**That's all the updates for today. I think we have a lead on the stone so I'm not sure when I'll get to reply again. **

**You know the drill…**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	11. Tenth Set of Letters

**Sorry for taking so long to reply guys. My cold came back (Thanks to the long hours of walking in the rain yesterday.) and Al hasn't let me on the computer. He left to go pick up my subscription, so I'm sneaking it right now. I might not be able to get to all of your reviews, but I'll reply to them tomorrow. **

**--**

_then just type in ed proposes to whinry its the first one x3. o even if your father did stay it dosnt mean she would have lived longer think about it she had the best life, life could offer 2 sons that loved her and a husbamd that even tho he want there he still cared about and al were the reason she lived as long as she did she loved you guys more than life its self so dont feel to bad and give our dad a chance hes still your dad even if you dont want him to be.o and by the way tell roy he needs to get a girlfriend and ly off you its creepy, riza would be good for him think about it help him get a girlfriend he leaves you alone then when he least expects it blow his legs off so he knows how it feels to be called short X3._

-Thorn Verity

p.s good aswer..\

**--**

**So HE is my voice actor for the anime! I intend to find his phone number so we can have a chat…**

**Wow that's…really heartfelt… o__o Um, thanks..I guess. I never thought about it like that…(But he is **_**still**_** a bastard!)**

**And next time I see him, I'll tell him that. xP **

**--**

_Dear Ed,  
I got one more question for you! Well... Untill I think of more ;D  
When you were in Xenotime, since Russel was always calling you sh- I mean not as tall as most, why didn't you find a way to jump him and kick his a--, er, butt?  
-Mimi-chan, Music Alchemist  
P.S. I'm glad we're friends! (pulls out blueprints) I have the ultimate plan for embarassing Roy! :)_

**--**

**Actually, I did kick his ass. Big time. He probably wasn't able to sit down for a week! :P I guess that Arakawa person never put it in the manga.**

**And I want to hear that plan!**

**--**

_I'm going to TRY and stop sending you letters...Though just wondering, did you even THINK that your father was short? And its his fault people call you short. For example my dad, me and my brother are giants compered to my sister and mom who are very short. So if you ever think about genes (not pants to all you stupid people) your mom was some-what tall...I think, er...sorry for bring that up... Well they do not put growth hormons in milk. Those things can kill people if you take to much and some people (like my self) drink milk every day. So don't go blaming milk please, think of the cows, thank you. Also ^-^ I'm glad you care for your brother...whichs is the exact oppiste of me who tottaly hates my brother. Er...sorry from making this so long I don't normally write so much...Well I'm glad you like books as well and reading though its hard to find good books that are...er...buyable(is this a word?)...we have money problems. ALSO your an idoit Winnry likes you, not that you can tell, Men are SO dense... -sigh- wait my brother was right I am a fast typer I some how manged to typ 1330 words before sending this to in a matter of 8 minutes...Am i that fast. -sigh- well bue. (Wait why did i menton that?) -Weapons-Master_

_--_

**No…I don't think Hoen-bastard isn't all that short…PLUS, I AM NOT SHORT FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME!!! And they **_**had**_** to have put growth hormones in milk, it's the only explanation why everyone else is so damn tall! I never said it was the milk's fault, it's the government's. **

**You shouldn't hate your brother. Even if he is annoying or even insane or something, you should care for your brother always. …Ugh. I sound like Al. Dx**

**I'm sorry to hear its hard for you to buy books. May I suggest the library?**

**S-she does?! O///o Wait! How do you even know that?! She might not you know…why should I believe you?!**

**--**

_hey again ed!  
:) it's late! well, not late, it's only 10:36 PM. i have to go to bed soon, because i gotta wake up at 6:15. i hate school. possibly more than you hate milk or being called the s-word. guess what, i've got my own e-day coming up pretty soon because of final exams. XP my school works kind of weird. we're having a final exam in the middle of the school year. blah. i'm gonna fail the science one, i know it!  
is it snowing where you are right now? and, gah... i've got another question from my cousens.  
Mya wants to know how you mock Roy so well, even though we all pretty much know that answer._

oh, and a little tidbit of info. that guy, who you called your favorite singer or something like that, is from the town where i'm living right now. i wonder what he's like, growing up in a town like mine. *shutters* ew.

well, i gotta go. this is probably going to be the last time you hear from me for a while considering all the studying (not!) i'll be doing. but i'll come check on you when i get a chance. kay,bye!  
-KianaNobody :D

_--_

_**I**_** can't even get up that early. Glad I don't go to school anymore! That sucks! **

**I heard a lot of schools have middle-final exams, it isn't that weird. And I could try to help you with science if you want. Asking the teacher questions might be helpful too. I don't know…**

**Because my come-backs and jokes cannot be mastered. **_**By anyone.**_** So that's why. :P**

**That Vic Mignog-whatever guy? That's…freakish. And if your town is as bad as you say it is, then yeah, I agree. Ew. **

**Good luck with studying!**

**--**

**Uggh….I feel like I'm dying slowly. -___-;; I'll get to the rest of the replies tomorrow…I'm sick and Al should be home any second. Spare me millions of reviews to answer when I get back, please?**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	12. Eleventh Set of Letters

**I tell you guys not to send me 30 million replies, and what do you do? You send me 30 MILLION REPLIES. Thanks a lot. **

**Anyway, I couldn't go on yesterday because Al refused to leave my side until my fever went down so, yeah. I'm feeling better today and he allowed me some computer time. I'll try to kill as many of these reviews as I can. **

**--**

_Yeah, for the eighth set of replies with mine in it...well, she does live RIGHT. NEXT. TO. ME! She is my neibor sadly. Wait...what did she put in Al's column? I had gone away for a few minutes to do...chores...(Shudder) and when I come back, she is squeling like a kid on christmas day. I go over to her ans she sent it already._

You are probably saying right now, 'YOU **!! GO TO YOUR (CENSORED BY AL!) SITE AND CLICK THE DAMN HISTORY SLOT!!'

WELL I WOULD, but she has a hostage in her house. She has my sketch pad and stencils for drawing.; This means war. (Flamethrower magcally appears)

WHY DON'T YOU LIKE WINRY!? SHE IS FREAKIN AWESOME!! SURE SHE NEARLY KILLS YA WITH A WRENCH EVERY TIME, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!! The deep blue eyes, the blonde hair, how she knows so much about machanics. SHE NEEDS TO TEACH ME HOW TO BUILD THOSE DAMN LEGS AND ARMS!! Those are so cool! I'm surprised that she hasn't put in a machine gun to your automail.

HEY WINRY! GO BUILD ONE AND THEN I SHALL BE YOUR BESTEST FAN PERSON THERE CAN BE!! ED WILL THEN BE SECOND AL THIRD, ROY FOURTH, THEN SO ON AND SO FORTH! Kimble being dead last in my fan area. OK!! LONG MESSAGE!!...AGAIN!! I better get off before Al suffers more of my friend. She is on her way down now, and I need to act like the computer broke...ok bye!

~Ria442~

**--**

**She wrote something on how she wants to be Al's girlfriend or something…you can check the reviews. (Al hasn't got to replying for reasons stated above.) **

**You draw I'm guessing? Well…good luck getting those back… **

**BECAUSE SHE'S GIVING ME SEVEN HUNDRED CONCUSSIONS WITH THAT DAMN WRENCH! If a normal person liked someone, they'd buy them a gift or something. They would not chuck wrenches at the other's head. She's made it obvious that she DOES NOT LIKE ME LIKE THAT. Moving on. **

**Some advice: Tell your friend that Al has a girlfriend. That might help. **

**--**

_And I finally got around to replying..._

Maybe it is a trick question, maybe it isn't... all I know is that I was asking about cheese. XD

... are you blushing?! ^.^ Come on, don't lie to me...

-shrugs- Eh, there's a reason why RoyxEd exists... I just don't know why.

Well... insanity is good! Yup, that's all I can think of... -half brain-dead from her homework-

Can you help me do my algebra? XD

See ya!

- Sal

**--**

**It was kind of random, asking about cheese. That's why I assumed it was a trick question; why would someone just ask that out of nowhere? **

**Anyway, I'd wish you people would get off my back about Winry already. It's not your business if we like each other or not, ok?! GEEZ. **

**RoyxEd was created when fangirls got bored enough with their own pitiful lives and decided to ruin my own. The end. **

**I can try to help…I guess…it been a while since you sent this review so… o__o;;**

**--**

_I keep on looking through the rest of the questions...and do you have any idea on why people keep asking you to give Al a cat? It's getting farely annoying since it's such a frequent question. Don't you think so? -batdiva101_

_--_

**Yes, it is extremely aggravating! I hear it enough from Al, and now I have to deal with it from all of you! I WILL GET THE CAT WHEN I FEEL LIKE, ALRIGHT?!**

**--**

_OMG Ed,_

I can't believe it. I'm really a state alchemist now. YAY! I'm in Central at the moment. Its so much fun. Okay i'll send a letter to Winry. Oh, and Ed the little bit of information that I have you might already know but i'll tell you anyway. You have to use humans in large amounts. Its really sad. Well I have to go. Roy wants me to do "SPECIAL" alchemy training. That moron. He thinks I don't know what "SPECIAL" means. If you eer come by Central please do me a favor and kick his butt. Damn it know I know the tiff time that you go through. well later tell Al hi for me. Oh, and see the letter is kinds short. Still working. Laters. ^.^ -Melody Elric

_--_

**Wow, that was….quick. It took me 2 freaking months to prepare for the test, but, whatever. Congrats. **

**Yeah, we already figured that out…but thanks anyway for thinking of us. Thoughtful.**

**I'll be sure to kick his ass for you. Good luck with alchemy training, it's brutal. I would know. –shudder- Maybe I'll see you in Central next time I stop by.**

**--**

_Hey, Ed_

Um.. I was wondering if you would like a GPS tracker system that tracks all of the rabid fangirls in the world. It starts to beep when a fangirl gets within 100 meters of you, at least that way when the fangirls get too close, you can find a place to hide. Oh and this is for Al (hands over kitty plushie). That way Al can have a cat early and it will be easy to take care of. And the next time Envy starts to rag on you about your height, tell this to him from me " Well at least I don't look like a gender confused palm tree". That should shut him up! Anyway, sorry for talking your ear off... See-ya –Draconian Master

_--_

**I want one. Now. I don't know how you'd be able to send it to me, but lord knows how long it will take before the fangirls track the computers I use. (I don't want to think about what will happen after that.)**

**And Al says thanks for the cyber-plushie… **

**I'll will ****definitely ****tell him that. Someone needs to shut him up for good. **

**--**

**Sorry that they're kind of…short. I'm not in a very good mood at the moment and my thoughts are all over the place. I'll try my hardest to get to the rest tomorrow, and until then ****do NOT send me any more reviews. ****I only have a hundred or so more and I don't need another thousand. Just be patient and wait a couple of days, ok? If you do send me any, they will either be ignored or won't be replied to for some time. Have a nice day.**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	13. Twelth Set of Letters

**Oh my frickin' god. All I have to type is "Don't send me any more reviews or else" and you all send reviews like crazy! I'm only one person dammit! It's not my fault that my frickin' cold turned into the frickin' flu and I've been stuck in a clinic for the last week or whatever! JUST STOP SENDING THEM. Seriously. It's pissing me off. **

**Anyway, sorry for taking so long…blah blah blah…I'll try to reply faster…yada yada yada…you get it. Here we go.**

**--**

_Dear Edward,  
Okay just let me point out that I am not one of those crazy fangirls, so don't get worried. First off I just want to comment that I have refused to drink milk ever since I found out there were growth hormones in it. Thats just plain weird and disturbing. Now to more serious matters...how emotional was it to have to dig up your mother's grave? It must of been very emotional for you. Also tell Al I say hi, and tell Mustang he's a big idiot(cause he really is). Now a really random question you've probaly never gotten before...what would it be like for you if you had a sister because I've read a few fanfics that you have a sister. Just curious you really don't have to answer that question though. What are some of the best memories you have with Al while looking for the stone? There has to be some funny moment. So I guess that's all I have to say except YOU ARE NOT SHORT YOU ARE TRAVEL SIZE and that milk haters need to unite and destroy it for good.  
Love and Peace  
4ever  
--Daddyslilgirl21096_

**--**

**You shouldn't have drunk milk in the first place. Your'e probably freakishly tall already!**

**It was pretty hard for me…I don't usually talk about it, to be honest. But then again, I think everyone would have some sort of feeling about digging up someone's grave…I dunno…**

**Mustang, (since I know your'e reading this) your'e an idiot. **

**Al says "Hi!"**

**I guess having a sister would be like having another Al. In female form. Hopefully though, she wouldn't have some weird disfiguration like we do. **

**Your'e asking me to think of memories?! My brain is currently fried at the moment (As you can tell by the previous answers) from the meds I'm taking. –sigh- But off the top of my head, probably the time when we helped the little girl Claus at that one place with the guy…and the blue roses…. –racks brain-**

**POWER TO THE MILK-HATERS!**

**--**

_Hello Ed…!_

Oh man I'm tired I'll never tell my mom her height again… I told her she was the same height as you and she chased me around the house saying I was obsessed… (Which is absurd when I picture you I picture a tall dude that looks really cute…)  
But anyway, I am a fangirl, but unlike some girls I can control myself… And I am literally allergic to yaoi… I accidently clicked on some and decided "What the heck? Let's give it a try…" Five minutes later. Bathroom. Gagging.  
Also I know how you feel about your dad… I feel the same way about mine.. Haven't seen him since I was 1 year old and I could probably go on without seeing that…. Bad person… I'm 13 and I have a generally good life!

Alright my questions are… 1. What goes through your mind when transmuting something? Is it just the object that you concentrate on making?

2. And isn't it awkward to perform alchemy with a mechanical arm like when you form it into a blade?

3. Also do you ever regret not saying or doing something that you knew you should have? (I do… A lot…)

Thanx for doing this (Although I know you now regret it…!) ^^  
~Meg (Also say hi to everyone for me!)

**--**

**You picture me tall? Awesome. **

**You picture me hot? Eh…**

**Same happened to me! Lucky for me, I closed the window before running to the bathroom, just to spare Al the humility. **

**People like us don't need our bastards of dads. As you said, we can live good lives without them! **

**While transmuting, I concentrate on what I'm making and the chemical make-up of it. If I didn't, it either wouldn't transmute, or make a mess of itself. Or something of that extent. **

**Not really. Like I said before, I can still generally feel with my metal hand, I just can't feel texture and stuff. You get used to it after a while. **

**Sometimes…I regret trying to bring my mom back. I regret forgetting to notice Winry's new hairdo. (I got a bruise the size of an orange for that.) And I regret mentioning that Al knew how to work computers so well because he's a robot. (Got a pretty good-sized bruise for that one too.)**

**--**

_x3 good he wont know what hit him. all you need to do is go to a costplay function that he'll be at and you can talk to him face to face. ik im good at mushy stuff like that(i kinda know how you feel my sister is a b* but i have to love her -sigh-)_

-Thorn Verity

**--**

**Let's just hope it is him and not some geek dressing up as him. (Then again, anyone trying to imitate Mustang deserves to get punched.)**

**Siblings are weird like that. They can drive you completely nuts and you still have to love him. (Fathers are a different story however…)**

**--**

_Hello Edward_

First off i'm going to say your a real sweetheart when you put your younger brothers priorities before yours (I wish my big brothers would have done that i was the only girl out of five kids) Number two Al is adorable when he get's his body back a mini you (and no I'm not making fun of you so no rants honey) If you ever need a place to stay when your in town stop by free room and board to friends. Oh my question what's the worst prank you've pulled on Colonal Bastard please tell suga. Talk to you later HOT STUFF.

the Phoenix of 2007

_--_

**Well, he is my responsibility, seeing as I stole his body from him after all. It's impossible for me **_**not**_** to put his priorities first. **

**Umm…I'll be sure to tell him that…. O__o;;**

**And no thanks…we usually stay at an inn…and away from stalker fangirls….**

**The worst prank we pulled on Mustang: Set him up for a blind date. With Havoc. xD**

**O___o; -shudder-**

**--**

**Sorry for the short, lame replies. I am tired and drugged and not in a happy mood. **

**ALSO. Al apologizes for not getting to his advice column. We've been very busy and I usually monopolize the computer. :P He'll probably get to it tomorrow. **

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


	14. Thirteenth Set of Letters

**Wow I haven't replied to these in forever...but, you know. Extremely busy with military shit. Just goes to show how I'd rather be bossed around by Mustang then listen to a rant about how cute I am…again. ANYWAY. Since it's Valentine's Day, I decided to finally reply to these as a little gift-ish thing…so..yeah. Enjoy.**

**--**

_Dear Mr. Edward Elric Fullmetal Alchemist-Sir,  
The government most definitely puts growth hormones in milk. I hate milk with a passion also, and I'm the s-word. :( Or it could just be genetics...  
Quick question: if Al had his body back and was still the same age he is now, (the anime is stupid. Don't you agree that his body would've grown inside the Gate?) do you think he would be taller than you?  
Also, you're lying to your fan girls. In saying that you are 5'1", you included your ahoge (look it up) and platform boots.  
Please don't hate me. :)  
- Zizi-chan_

**--**

**It's not genetics. It's a government conspiracy. (Look it up.)**

**He's younger then me so hopeful-erm…probably not. I'd have my arm and leg back too anyway so I'd shoot right up! Seriously! **

**Pft. I'm 5'1'' without them! Measure me if you want! I'm telling the truth dammit!**

**--**

_-reads bottom of last entry- Do you think that you shouldn't be online when you're sick? -shouldn't be talking-_

Anyway, did you hear that Vic Mignogna wrote and sang one some about you and before that sang one of the songs from your anime? If you haven't then you need to listen, they're called 'Brothers' and 'Nothing I Won't Give.' They're both really great songs and I'm sure you'd enjoy them. :)

**-**_batdiva101_

**--**

**I was bored from sitting in bed all day. So sue me. **

**No I haven't heard that…I'll have to look them up then. I heard he's a good singer. **

**--**

_Dear Ed,_

It's my first time writing to you, I'm not a yaoi fangirl or a crazy fangirl. It's just that I want to know more about you, and how the hell did you understand alchemy without a teacher? Well you do have a teacher but I mean... at first you were not really confused at those elements! I just want advices coz I really hate chemistry that much,

And yeah I live in a place that kinda resembles your hometown! but it's a bit "more" modern in here...

Do you think I'm annoying? coz I boy just told me I'm one even if I know I didn't do a thing. *cries*

And do you like anybody?

Miyuki Meiru

**--**

**Alchemy kind of came naturally to me and Al, people said it was because Hohenheim was our dad, but I don't think that has anything to do with it. Plus, we did to go to school, contrary to popular belief. We could understand most of it, but I admit we did have to ask around a few times. **

**That's cool about your town I guess…**

**I don't think your'e annoying…you didn't ask me anything all that weird…that boy is probably just pulling your leg. **

**No comment on the last question. That is my own private business, thank you very much!**

**--**

_Hello Eddo! I just wanted to know how you havn't noticed that Winry loves you?Or why havn't you told her you like her? Don't say "No what are you talking about? We're just friends!" Well your not.I can have a nice day!Also tell Mustang I said Hi!I understand if you don't say hi to 'em...  
~Terry Darlight_

**--**

**How would you know she likes me!? You probably have never even met her! So there! x(**

**--**

_ok...umm,i have one question, actually a few. and im a nice girl just so u know and im not obsessed over u and ur not the shortist person in the world 1 of my friends is around 4 ft, so dont feel bad about ur hight. i know im boring u to death sorry, u know in the end of the show what do u think about the ending and how they ended the series?, and what do u think they could have added to it to make it better? okay ill stop boring u to death. bye: sarahelric091_

_--_

**Nice to know I have one less crazy fangirl in the world. –eyeroll-**

**Anyway, I haven't really watched the series…nor do I want to…so…what's your opinion on it? I can base mine off yours.**

**--**

**Ugh sorry…my brain powers all out..I'll try to get to these later today or tomorrow, deal?**

**Oh by the way, you can now reach me at .com, no promises I'll always be on though.  
**

**Happy Valentine's Day,**

**-Edward Elric**

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_


End file.
